In a series of heated exchanges, the Undergraduate Council of Students and Class Coordinating Board have been feuding over which student organization is less relevant to students’ lives.
“We send out a constant stream of blast emails about virtual game nights and other nonsense that no one reads,” said CCB Treasurer Katrina Hunger ‘21 in an email nobody read. “That level of impertinence is simply unmatched by those fastidious clowns at UCS.”
“Sure, we’re the real student government, so that might make us seem more important," said UCS President Lisa Forwoman ‘21. “But the fact remains that not one person attended UCS’s last virtual job fair, and that in every poll we’ve ever run, it’s been found that most students have both no opinion of us and no idea what we even do.”
At press time, both organizations were reassuring the student body that they will continue as quasi-oligarchies run by the same group of students every year.