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Yesterday, the Brown Undergraduate Council of Students unveiled a groundbreaking and long awaited new plan to add one chair to the Stephen Robert ‘62 Campus Center.
“This is a historic moment for the campus. The plan marks a renewed commitment on behalf of student government to facilitate sitting at Brown. We are always seeking to come alongside students and support them as they sit down at Brown,” stated UCS Chair Sharon Lawry ‘28 during a mostly seated press conference with one reporter left standing. “This one new chair, which will hopefully be installed before the end of the semester, or at the very latest before the start of next semester, or maybe sometime during next semester, will be a transformative change for one student who would like to sit down.”
“We’ve received overwhelming feedback from the one person that responded to the poll we sent out via email. 100% of those surveyed had issues finding a chair,” continued Lawry while inspecting every chair in the room. “We hear you Brown. You wanted one new chair in Faunce, and we delivered. Well…once the committees have deliberated, and we can secure funding, and decide on what type of chair.”
At press time, the Undergraduate Finance Board commissioned a matching set of hand-carved, mahogany chairs for their weekly meetings.
