In a statement released Tuesday, citizens of the United States asked pugs if they can do anything, and if so, what? “Is there anything at all that you can do?” the amassed nation collectively wondered aloud while staring at the country’s population of pugs, who were all simultaneously panting with their tongues out. “What exactly is your purpose? Do you have skills? Or are you not useful for anything? Please, pugs, tell us what you do. We’re all very unsure.” Responding to the inquiry of all Americans, the gathered pugs began to drool.

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