Monday, March 1, 2021
Partly Cloudy icon Partly Cloudy, 64°

The Brown Noser

Vaccine Clinic For Essential Health Workers Infiltrated By Three PLME Students In A Lab Coat

Published Friday, February 5th, 2021

Disguising themselves as a single towering medical professional, three PLME students attempted to receive COVID-19 vaccines allocated to essential health workers by piling on top of each others’ shoulders in a lab coat.

“Yes, I am an essential doctor and I am here for my vaccination,” the uppermost PLME student told a worker at the vaccine clinic as the other two PLME students strained to keep their balance and breathe inside the lab coat. “I need to get back to my critical work saving lives in the health care industry, so let’s please make this quick.”

Wearing a stethoscope and surgical mask to hide their true identities as mere premed students, the future attendees of Brown’s Warren Alpert Medical School hatched a foolproof plan to cycle through the vaccine clinic three times, ensuring each co-conspirator would receive the shot.

“As a longtime hospital worker, I am in fact familiar with both organic chemistry and molecular biology,” the middle PLME student added from within the slowly unbuttoning lab coat, unhelpfully chiming in as the trio struggled to convince the workers to give them a vaccine. “I don’t believe I’m required to give you my name. That’d be a HIPAA violation, as you and I both know.”

After the soon-to-be doctors toppled over and made a daring escape from the vaccine clinic, the group reconvened at a nearby nursing home to try out Plan B.

Article tools

Search The Brown Noser

  • Loading…