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The Brown Noser

Van Life Influencer Very Cozy In Bench Bed Beside Pee Drawer

Published Friday, October 27th, 2023

Sources report that a local van life influencer is so comfy in her fold-out bench bed beside her pee drawer.

“I love living on my own terms and moving about as I please,” said influencer Kelly Williamson, who lives in an 80-square-foot renovated van with no toilet or shower and pees in a plastic drawer right beside her pillow. “I finally feel free!”

“Isn’t it so cute in here? I made all the modifications myself!” continued Williamson, showing off the rustic curtains she installed, her 2-foot-wide bed that folds down from a bench, and the small drawer that she pees in daily. “There’s even this skylight so I can sleep under the gentle glow of the stars.”

“Everyone should cast aside their troubles and live the van life. It’s a good one,” said Williamson, who is fortunate enough to pee in a gas station bathroom every 7-8 business days. “The open road called, and what could I do but answer?”

At press time, a paleo diet influencer was enjoying eating an entire roasted deer leg.

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