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The Brown Noser

Well If It Isn’t — Ida, Cancel My 3 O’clock, An Old Friend’s Come To Visit

Published Friday, December 3rd, 2021

Listen here, Charlie, why don’t you take the week off, rest up a little, eh? Say, hold a moment, would ya Charlie? I got to hang up the telephone, someone’s knockin’ on my door. Come in. Use the door, that’s why it’s there. Well if it isn’t — Ida, cancel my 3 o’clock, an old friend’s come to visit.

Monty St. Clair, as I live and breathe, it’s good to see ya, Ace. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you haven’t aged a day. But heck, what’s thirty years between good friends? You know, Monty, I was thinking about you recently. It’s true. You and Sal, and Mikey, and Stanley, and even Big Cricket.

Those were the days, eh? Hey, what you got in that box, Monty?

Let me get you something to drink, Ace. How ‘bout some scotch? No ice, just how you like it. We’re celebrating, ain’t we? Say, are you still steady with that doll? What was her name? Annette, that’s right. What a knockout, but she had a head on her shoulders, too, that one. Oh, no? Well that’s a shame.

I got a wife too, ya know. She’s a real iron pants, but a solid lady. We got two daughters together. I’m a happy man, Ace, but, well, I still think about that last night at Woodridge. What happened with you and me and Sal and Mikey and Big Cricket. That poor janitor. But it wasn’t any of our faults, you know that. It was an accident. Wrong place, wrong time. I’ve moved on and I hope you have too.

Sorry to bring that mess up, Monty. It’s history. Let me get you another drink, pal. Oh you’re opening that box, I’ve been wondering what’s in there. It’s not like Ace to bring a gift.

Oh Jesus, Ace. What are you doing with that thing? What’s your big idea?

Put down the gun, Ace. You don’t gotta do this. I swear I never told another living soul about what happened that night. I know you haven’t been able to live with yourself, that you’ve had a rough go of it, but I ain’t no liability. Not me, not Sal, not Mikey neither.

You what? Oh God, Ace, what have you done? All of them? Even Big Cricket? Oh Monty, I feel sorry for you. I really do. Do what you oughta, but know that in some life, years from now, we’ll meet again. Goodbye, old friend.

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