After trying on a dress in the Nordstrom dressing room this past week, area woman Margaret Crostini was forced to slink back into the dumb bitch clothes she had entered the store wearing.
“After trying on these new clothes, my old clothes seem so, so dumb,” Crostini lamented, sighing as she suited back up in the idiot ensemble that she somehow decided was a good idea when she left the house that morning. “I wish I could just walk out of the store in the new dress, but I can’t, and now I look like a fucking idiot.”
“I’m a stupid, ugly clown with my dumb pants and silly shirt,” Crostini continued, staring wistfully at the awesome, sexy dress she had just tried on that put her existing attire to shame. “Sure, I can put it on when I get home, but first I have to sulk out of this Nordstrom in this heinous excuse for an outfit. Everyone’s gonna look at me and think, ’What a dumb bitch. Look at her dumb bitch clothes.’ If only they knew how hot I just looked in that dressing room.”
At press time, Crostini decided she hated the new dress a week later.