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The Brown Noser

World Wildlife Fund Hasn’t Had Really Good Endangered Animal Since 1973 Gray Wolf

Published Friday, April 25th, 2014

Sources who have closely followed the World Wildlife Fund’s endangered species list are reporting that the WWF has failed to put out a truly great endangered animal since the 1973 gray wolf.

“It’s all been downhill since the ’73 wolf,” said WWF enthusiast Vince Estes. “They haven’t had an endangered species with star quality since the gray. How do they expect to get noticed now?”

“These days the WWF is really trying to push the giant sea turtle, but it just doesn’t compare,” said Estes, who noted that he can’t name a single other animal with the staying power of the gray wolf. “The gray wolf had everything. It was ferocious, it didn’t apologize. Nothing like this cuddly shit they have these days. The list is meaningless.”

WWF fan Jordan Rush confirmed that the list has changed significantly since its heyday. “Back in ‘73, the wolf was endangered, but it didn’t fuckin’ care. No way was the GW concerned with anything except being a badass endangered animal,” said Rush.

Though the endangered species list does include some pretty cool animals like the tiger and the Amur leopard, critics argue that the list has lost its edge in recent years. “Those cats are just on there to pander to the fangirls,” said Rush. “The gray wolf didn’t answer to anybody."

At press time, the WWF had yet to explain why they had taken the pretty cool western black rhino off their list.

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