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The Brown Noser

Yang Presidential Campaign Just Massive Ruse To Become Watson Fellow

Published Friday, March 6th, 2020

After ending his Presidential campaign in February, Andrew Yang ’96 told reporters that his whole campaign was just a massive ruse to become a Watson Fellow.

“Our campaign tried to bring the economic hardships faced by everyday Americans into the common political discourse,” said the Brown alum, already putting on a Watson baseball hat. “While these issues are certainly important, the actual goal of my Presidential run was to land a job teaching a seminar at the Watson Institute for 25 undergraduates once a semester.”

“The Freedom Dividend is the only realistic solution to combat changes caused by automation,” continued Yang, writing “Fellow @WatsonInstitute” in his Twitter bio. “Luckily, as a Watson Fellow, I will be able to write about these issues in a book every three to five years.”

“We formed a diverse coalition to tackle the issues that got Donald Trump elected and retake the White House,” added Yang, debating whether he should go as “Professor Yang” or just “Andrew.” “But honestly, all I wanted to do was trick Brown into giving me an office in New Watson. I hear they even have a cafe on the first floor.”

At press time, Lincoln Chafee ’75 was running for president as a Libertarian so the Political Theory Project would invite him to speak.

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