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Staff and customers of Wickenden Kilnworks attempted to politely ignore a rampaging bull as it tore through the store and destroyed hundreds of valuable antiques earlier this week.
The 1700-pound bovine entered the shop shortly after noon and said he only wanted to "look around." Shopkeeper Lonnie Thalson saw nothing wrong with letting the animal admire the art, and he decided not to say anything.
But after ten minutes passed and the bull still lingered, Thalson and his patrons said the situation became uncomfortable.
"He clearly wasn't interested in buying anything, but every time I tried to approach him and say something tactful, he would turn the other direction and snort loudly," said Thalson, "And then he would kick me in the chest."
Those in the store continued to exchange pleasantries as the bull toppled several shelves and sent plates and vases crashing to the floor.
"I just adore the interplay between the ornate floral foreground and the geometric background," Anna Piehler said of a china tray, moments before the bull gored her in the back.
Many realized that someone probably needed to ask the bull to leave, but nobody wanted to be the one who actually did. By one o'clock, all of the store's windows were broken, two customers were dead, and a further six were in an extremely awkward social situation.
At one point, the bull allegedly mumbled one positive comment about a large ceramic pot. This gave Thalson a longed-for opportunity to start a conversation with the bull, but before he could react, the bull thrashed wildly and triggered another cacophonous cascade of falling art.
Miranda LaTour, a frequenter of Wickenden Kilnworks, said she was happy with her purchase, a set of matching plates.
"So what if a couple of them are a little chipped?" she said, avoiding eye contact with the bull. "It happens sometimes."
Paloma Salvadge, the cashier, spoke to the Noser later in the afternoon.
"I don't want to name names," she said as she subtly inclined her head in the bull's direction, "but the skeletons in our closet are no longer the main elephant in the room. We have bigger fish in the frying pan."
Salvadge could not continue the interview because she was interrupted by a customer who needed help deciding between two particularly nice jars and had sustained severe trauma to the head.
Mitchell Rhoades '11, who was looking for a gift for his parents, said he was about to rebuke the bull, but thought better of it.
"After all, if I made some outrageous statement I'd just be stooping to his level," said Rhoades. "Best to just let ordeals like this play out as they do."
However, one man discretely admitted that the bull's behavior frustrated him.
"Frankly, I think it's rude," said Clayton Casserly once he was out of earshot of the bull. "He didn't even buy anything, he's making a fool of himself, and now look, he just gored my wife to death. Unbelievable."
There was no comment on the octopus in the corner, not because people were reluctant to mention him, but because nobody noticed him.
