Partly Cloudy, 64°
According to a recent poll conducted by the perennially relevant Brown Daily Herald, Professor of Urban Studies George Moran is still primarily male and white.
The results of this most recent poll differ only slightly from a similar survey conducted last year that reported at least 10 percent of students found Moran to be "possibly part Eskimo or Latino, maybe" and 13 percent thought he "might look like a girl if it were dark, he was wearing a wig and you were squinting really hard." Surprisingly, in the same poll, only 1.5 percent of students believed Moran to be "Katherine Bergeron."
But this latest consensus came as no surprise to those who know Moran and his tendency to "exude a mediocre pastiness" coupled with a "subtle air of masculinity that is half-heartedly suggestive of a penis." Urban Studies concentrator Jim Mayberry '11 remarked, "It really just comes down to being open-minded and respectful - things that Professor Moran just isn't. I mean look at him! He's like mayonnaise but as a person. A male person."
A memo recently released by Urban Studies Department Chair Allen Fields sets forth a plan of action for dealing with Moran's close-mindedness. "From this point forward," Fields begins the memo, "Moran must wear a denim bedazzled skirt three times a week (four times during a leap year), learn to speak at least 8 of the 29 languages of Botswana and is henceforth banned from listening to The Red Hot Chili Peppers or making mix-tapes for women he finds attractive. The department is taking this unfortunate case very seriously."
