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Students and faculty alike have started to issue complaints against Associate Professor of History John Rothstein for "never shutting up about his damn penis."
According to reports, Rothstein frequently mentions his own anatomy during lecture, even going so far as to give it historically themed nicknames such as "General Sherman," "The Republican Party" and "How Southern white notions of paternalism didn't match the reality of the slave-owning South."
"At first, I thought it was cool, you know, a professor with a dirty mouth," commented Jake Bernstein '13. "It was especially hilarious when he talked about Sherman's march through Georgia. Man, what an innuendo."
Bernstein continued, "After a while, though, it's like, 'Enough already, we get it! You like to talk about your junk.'"
Other students in his class felt alienated from the start. Said Clara Baur '12, "Justice Tawney declared that the Missouri Compromise was unconstitutional? Come on, how tacky can you be?"
Baur added, "I took this class to learn about the Civil War, not to hear about his 'popular sovereignty.'"
Rothstein shows no remorse for his particularly jocular manner of lecturing and in fact remains pretty positive overall. "I think the semester is going splendidly," he said, referencing his penis.
Such criticism has come not only from his students but also from Rothstein's colleagues and everyday acquaintances. Fellow Professor of History Carl Clarendon remembered a recent lunch with Rothstein. "When we were grad students, it was one thing, but now we're professionals. We have a certain level of propriety to uphold," he said.
"Doing your 'taxes?' I like jerking it as much as the next guy, but let's keep some decorum, buddy," he remarked.
Rothstein's vulgar proclivities almost got him into serious trouble last week, when he went to the bank to sort out some "financial matters." Said Shirley Davids, a longtime teller at Sovereign Bank, "He asked if he could 'make a deposit.' I said, 'Woah, buy a girl dinner first!' Then he asked if he could check his balance, and I got confused."
Davids considered filing a suit, but ultimately she was so flattered by the encounter that she decided to drop all charges.
In the face of potential lawsuits, Rothstein finally admitted that he should tone down his dirty mouth. He added, "Yeah, that was an interes-oh, hold on, my dick kinda itches."
