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The Brown Noser

Snoop Dogg Headlines Janus Forum Debate on Education

Published Friday, April 23rd, 2010

The first event in the Janus Forum's much anticipated debate series on education took place in Salomon 101 yesterday, and featured conservative political commentator Edward Morton matching wits with smooth-spitting hip hop artist Snoop 'Doggy' Dogg.

Mr. Morton said he was excited to discuss such an important issue with an educational theorist as eminent as Mr. Dogg.

"Snoop is really a pioneer in our field," said Mr. Morton, "I wouldn't be where I am today without his influential works on the importance of both providing incentives for teachers and droppin' West Coast shit in every motherfuckin' state."

Mr. Dogg, who is a strong proponent of the Deweyan concept of experiential education, also coined the Snoopian concept of takin' all your dough and your gold and your cars.

Mr. Dogg supplemented his talk with Powerpoint slides, which all consisted of the phrase "woof, motherfucka," in various fonts and color schemes.

"I believe in sharin' the cock. Also, I believe in comparin' the cock," Mr. Dogg stated, outlining his position at the start of the debate.

He stressed the importance of creating a relaxed environment in the classroom to foster creative expression. "Gangsta philosophy, yep yep I gotta be real high, whenever writing my novelty," Mr. Dogg argued.

Mr. Morton and Mr. Dogg discussed the case of Rhode Island's Central Falls High School, which earlier this year fired its entire teaching staff because of low test scores. Mr. Morton put forward the claim that the school's actions were a desperate bid for funding from President Obama's Race to the Top Fund.

Mr. Dogg responded with a rhetorical question: "We are the best no limit DPG Southwest connects, ya feel me?"

He then encouraged the audience to "light up if you can for this next part, [because] this is going to be off the hook." Mr. Dogg proceeded to describe, in rhyming couplets, his three tenets for improving infrastructure, which included rigorous evaluation, rolling down the motherfucking backstreets ready 2 fight, and accountability at all levels.

In his closing remarks, Snoop Dogg urged immediate action on charter schools, which he argued are overfunded and part of a broken system.

"Now you got about a minute to fix this," said Mr. Dogg, "because I'm trying to find a bitch that's bootylicious"

Responses to the debate ranged from enthusiasm and applause to confusion and anger.

Alex Sorrentino '12 attended the debate and said he understood the speakers' general messages, but sometimes got bogged down in the details.

"I'm always out of my depth at these policy debates. I definitely didn't follow the part about the brizzles, the pizzle, the dizzle, and the bizzack," Mr. Sorrentino said, "But it certainly sounded well-reasoned."

Others responded to Mr. Dogg's arguments with skepticism.

"Must I remind you, he's only here to twist us?" Ilana Svetken '13 said.

And there were some who felt that Snoop Dogg's values were so at odds with the spirit of Brown that he should not have been the speaker in the first place.

"His philosophy has infected the highest levels of our country's government," said Maya Korense '13 " We elected Obama so that he would pick up controversial issues like education reform, but thanks to the insidious influence of people like Snoop Dogg, I'm worried that our president will just drop them, almost as if they were hot."

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