The BCA announced last week that its Spring Weekend concert series would be held not on the Main Green but instead in a small computer lab in the CIT.
Records indicate that three months ago a student group was granted a request by Media Services to reserve both the Main Green and the OMAC from April 17th at 5pm until April 19th at 2pm. The group, called the Brown Get Rich Quick Schemers, intended to sell the venue back to the University for "a hefty ransom-I mean, price."
Tandoori Jones, president of the BGRQS, has brushed off allegations of foul play. "Corrupt capitalism? More like.erupt vapitalism. Because we shake things up. We make vapid things.erupt.into things that are not vapid."
The BCA refused to negotiate with the BGRQS, announcing in an email to the student body that "all concerts, tanning, frisbee-throwing, and general spring-related revelry must remain within the walls of our new venue, the Sunlab."
Students' reactions to the announcement were mixed.
"I haven't been in the CIT before, but I'm excited," said Kelly Loomey '12 just hours before the concert. "I mean, 'Sunlab' sounds like a cool sunny place to experiment with drugs - the perfect environment for Spring Weekend.although that 'Shroom Lab' party at Tech House did end up just being a Mario Party tournament, so I could be wrong."
In an unexpected snafu, the BCA acted too late to technically book the Sunlab. As a result, the space remained open to any Computer Science students who wished to use it.
Some, like Andy Pelham '11, argued that the Sunlab frequenters took up crucial space that could have otherwise been used for "at least half of a frat brother, or perhaps a baby llama.Hey, some crazy shit went down on Spring Weekend."
However, most students capitalized on the event's new open-door policy. "I totally got in for free!" said Samuel Jarglerman '12. "I just had to disguise myself as a Comp Sci major. I slathered on some self-un-tanner, and I was good to go."
Meanwhile, most Sunlab regulars held optimistic views about the forthcoming concert.
"A lot of strange people kept coming in to set up equipment and things," began CS concentrator Barry Arboch '09. "I'm pretty sure I'd never seen them before, which leads me to believe that there may actually be a world beyond these walls!" He added, "but that would be ridiculous."
This is not the first time that the BGRQS has wreaked havoc on the Brown community at large. In 1998, SexPowerGod was forced to be held in Wilson 302 after a similar stunt.
"Yeah, it was pretty cramped in there. and also pretty naked," recalled Jodie East '99. "I'm pretty sure I accidentally had sex with three or four people after slipping on a puddle of fruit punch. Good times."
After being met with obstinacy on the part of the BCA, the BGRQS decided that instead of trying to sell back the space, they would instead hold their own, more appealing concert next weekend. Artists to be featured at the "Vernal Week Finale Concert" included the Dutch hip-hop fusion poet 'Das' and the angsty chipmunk soul trio 'In Montreal.'
"Holy shit!" began President Ruth Simmons. "Das is coming? Here? Fuck the BCA, I'm so buying tickets to this."