Partly Cloudy, 64°
Well hello there, beautiful. You must be a parking ticket, because-
Hold on. I have to take this call. Hello? Yes. Yes. Only if the caterers arrive before six. Okay. I know. Okay. I'm in the middle of something, I have to go. Okay. Goodbye.
Where were we? Right, you must be a parking ticket because … Um. Well, the point is that I'm pretty sure you're a parking ticket. Sorry, the phone call broke my chain of thought. I've been super distracted lately because I've been spending all my time planning for the party in my pants this weekend.
It's turning into a huge logistical mess. Some people got the wrong address. Either they think it's in my friend Derek's pants instead of mine, or they think it's a party in my hat, which is just miles off the mark. Everyone keeps asking if they should bring their own pants and I don't know what I'm supposed to tell them.
By the way, are you Jamaican? Because I'm in charge of transportation for the party and these Jamaican cab drivers are making me crazy. I literally can't understand a single word they say to me. Do you think you could try talking to them for a minute?
You aren't Jamaican. I see.
Are you sure you didn't get an invitation? With someone as gorgeous as you, I can't believe I wouldn't have thought to drop you a line, because you are a catch!
Maybe your invitation got lost in the mail. Or maybe you threw it away because you thought it was junk mail. I wouldn't even blame you - I've been so swamped I didn't have time to personalize them. Can you believe it? I've stooped to sending formulaic invitations to my own pants party.
It's too late for you now, though, beautiful. The guest list is finalized and everything. I wish I could let you in anyway, but you would not believe how strict Rhode Island is about occupancy laws. I'll let you know if someone cancels, but I wouldn't count on it.
It's really not your cup of tea anyway, to be honest. My neighbors are sticklers about noise, and it's probably going to end up as more of a pants-themed get-together than an actual party.
It wasn't even my idea in the first place. Derek kinda roped me into it. He's always going on about how you can't get anywhere in the business world unless you make a lot of friends and throw a lot of parties in a lot of pants.
Oh my god, is that a mirror in your pocket? Because we were thinking of hanging mirrors all around the party so that people can look at themselves and adjust their ties and stuff, and we are in serious need of a mirror.
Wait, don't go. Listen, I'm sorry to have unloaded on you like that. You're such a great listener. What do you say we go back to my place and I can unload on you again?
