The Brown Noser

Student Spends Entire Job Interview Trying to Explain S/NC

A job interview that began smoothly for Jonathan Van Rye '11 went awry earlier this week once the interviewer moved into a discussion of Mr. Van Rye's transcript. "Everything was perfect," Van Rye recalled. "I was acing every question; I wasn't sweating; I remembered to say how much I loved working for low pay; and I only briefly had an erection, but I deftly covered it up with my hand.

Oh, Are You Reading That Dostoevsky Novel For Fun?

Hey! Where are you coming from? The Rock? Me too! Don't you just love sitting in the library stacks, poring over every ancient volume, savoring the musty smell of the pages? Oh, you were studying for a killer history test? Well, the library's good for that too, I suppose.

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DPS DTF

The Brown Department of Public Safety likes to think of itself as made up of cool, attractive men and women - the kind with whom anyone would want to socialize (and more). However, this positive self-image has been shaken recently as officers have had virtually no success getting laid at various parties both on and off campus.

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It On

Reliable sources concur: It's on. Garbage men this morning could smell in the air that it was on. Even through the garbage they could smell it. "It's a job," they wearily said, "but more importantly, it's on."

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Wings and Things Discontinues Wings

Wings and Things has eliminated chicken wings from its menu after owners said a decreased demand for wings, coupled with a rising interest in everything else, necessitated the shift to a more thing-centric business model. The Brook Street eatery decided last month to expand its previous selection, which featured things as popular as cole slaw and chocolate chip cookies, to include all other entities that have existed, exist, will exist or could exist anywhere ever.

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Student Spends Entire Job Interview Trying to Explain S/NC

Oh, Are You Reading That Dostoevsky Novel For Fun?

DPS DTF

It On

Wings and Things Discontinues Wings

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