Colin Brady '10 envies most of his fellow Brown students. He watches them go about their days without the sorts of worries he has come to accept as unavoidable, and he wishes he could join them in a life that must be infinitely easier than the one he has been fated to lead.
The Avon Cinema on Thayer Street premieres a movie this Friday that has reached new heights of Indie vogue-so much so that when contacted for comment, the crew and director purportedly involved in its production have never heard of it.
"Seriously, who names a movie 'Noise-Canceling Grass Shadow Revolution?'" asked director Austin Pinkerton.
The next member of the Saw horror series will feature a torture sequence consisting of watching all four previous Saw films in succession. This, says screenwriter Alan Radish, will "bring the Saw series to new areas of horror never before explored in Hollywood.
A big-screen adaptation of Henry David Thoreau's classic introspective existentialist masterpiece "Walden" will now include "enough explosions to make Hiroshima look like a poorly-controlled fart," reported newly signed director Michael Bay earlier this week.
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke struggled to sit down comfortably before Congress following yesterday's devastating drop in the US stock market. Shifting side to side and occasionally standing while he talked, Bernanke attempted to explain to US lawmakers the market forces responsible for the abrupt change in the US economy's performance.