The Brown Noser

Student Sleeps Through Entire Semester After Snooze Button Malfunction

Jeremy Holton '12 awoke fresh and early at 9 a.m. expecting his first day of sophomore year to be a good one. Thus, the Orgo final exam that he was handed upon walking into MacMillan 117 came as a bit of a shock. Whereas he had expected to wake up on September 9th, he instead found his peers scribbling December 3rd on the covers of their test booklets.

No, I Won't Watch Your Laptop

It's another late night in the Sciences Library and you're starting to crash. First Year Seminars are really tough, and you have to read a whole two paragraphs about Asian American sexuality in the late 1970's before tomorrow's group final. As your eyes begin close, you realize that it's time to shuffle upstairs and grab a fresh cup of fairly traded coffee.

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Asshole Knits in All Its Classes

Too good to just shut up and pay attention to lecture like everyone else, Anna Mason '11 has been knitting in her classes since freshman year of high school. To date, she's made 32 scarves people wear only in her presence, 42 hats, tragically lost, and one Itty-Bitty-Kitty sweater that Mr.

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Army Navy Surplus Store Runs Out of Che Guevara Shirts Due to Military Need for Che Guevara Shirts

The Army-Navy surplus store on Thayer St. has always been the place to purchase a t-shirt bearing the face of the famous Cuban revolutionary Che Guevarra. But now, for the first time anyone can remember, the store has run out of its Che shirt stock and anticipates it won't be able to obtain any more in the near future.

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School Mascot Frightens Freak Bear Accident Survivor

It was a relatively uneventful evening of Brown Orientation activities. The air was crisp and warm, and the smell of excitement wafted through the air as freshmen frolicked upon the festive Pembroke green. Things were going splendidly . . . that is, until disaster struck.

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Computer Science Concentrator Programs Robot With More Social Skills than Him

For Max Napoli '11, the completion of the Maximo2000 was the result of months spent programming and building. To his dismay, however, the unveiling of his advanced humanoid robot has not caused his peers to accept him more, although they do show a strong liking for Maximo, who is deemed "way cooler" than Max.

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