Chelsea's articles
In the wake of the financial turmoil that currently plagues the US economy, the Federal Government has decided that it is time to step in and begin regulating banks.
In a recent discussion with Federal Reserve Board Chairman Ben Bernanke, the President decided that our nation's laissez-faire attitude is no longer appropriate and it is time for the government to begin monitoring the growing issues facing sperm banks.
"BOOBIES," the potent opening song from "Puberty The Musical," is one small sample of the extremely heady aspects of this emotionally complex tour de force and sets the tone for the masterpiece to come. Clay Efron, the male lead played by renowned actor Haley Joel Osment, crackles and squeaks his way through this heartfelt ballad about the expanding breasts of his 7th grade classmates.
A new club limped its way to Category I status at last Wednesday's UCS meeting. Though Brown already boasts several competitive gaming clubs, the new Scrabble club is less about competition and more about "providing a forum for students to express their deepest, least sexual inner thoughts and triple-point combo words," as club founder Willy Giuliani '08 proclaimed in front of the UCS general body.
From a location rife with technologically savvy men comes one of the most shocking inventions to hit the streets since Tickle Me Elmo: The Boom Boom 5000.
After a lack of University funding, it was announced that Trojan Condoms would be the next big donor in Brown University history when the school becomes home to the Trojan Condoms Classics Center.
This announcement comes as no surprise as over the course of the last five years, Trojan has been building up its Condoms for Charity division.
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