Monday, September 25, 2017
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The Brown Noser

“Ace Of Cakes Chef Must Just Live In Big Cake By Now,” Thinks Local Woman

Published Friday, April 21st, 2017

Stating that chef Duff Goldman from Food Network’s “Ace Of Cakes” must have really taken things to the next level by now, local woman Jessica Ramirez figures that the guy is probably living in a big cake at this point, sources reported Monday. “I haven’t seen or thought about the show in a while,” said Ramirez, adding that living in a big cake is pretty outrageous, but Goldman just got crazier and crazier as the seasons went on, so really nothing he does with cake could shock her. “I once saw Duff make a cake that had a PVC pipe running down the middle that could shoot fireworks, and that was just at the end of the first season. There’s just no way that at this point Duff hasn’t escalated his craft to the point of constructing a full-sized, fully furnished cake house for himself to live in,” stated Ramirez. “He must have made a TV special called ‘Home Baker’ to document the whole thing. He probably has a wife and a family that were skeptical at first, but really came around to moving into this house-shaped cake, and I bet you any amount of money that the cake is covered in fondant.” At press time, Ramirez googled Goldman to discover he’s just the host on “Kids Baking Challenge.”

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