I know that comparison doesn’t bring true happiness, but I’m pretty sure taking that motherfucker’s jacket by force would put a smile on my face. While you may think that’s violent, I’m not sure if you’ve seen the fit on this one, let alone the detailing. I just think it would be better used in my hands than his, even if I have to seriously injure someone in the process. It would almost be just to physically tear it off his cowering form, as I really could style it so much better.

I mean, you know me. I’ve got a couple of jackets in my closet already—maybe more than a couple—and there’s certainly value in appreciating what you already have. That’s where true bliss comes from, really. Appreciating what makes you unique, what sets you apart from other people. But it’s springtime! It’s time for a closet cleanout, some lighter clothes, so they’ve got to die. Sure, this might not bring me enlightenment, but it’ll certainly help me look cool in class. You get it—sometimes an assault of others so you can take what they have is needed. It’s just, the way that I see it, what I’m wearing is awful, and what they’re wearing is great, and they may need to die to remedy this! Nothing crazy.

Monks say that contentment can only come from appreciating what you have and desiring less, even nothing at all. Clearly, they don’t put that shit on.

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