Sunday, December 17, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Explorer Mistaking Creature's Mouth For Big Cave In For Quite The Surprise

Published Friday, March 17th, 2017

Mistaking saliva for cave slime and teeth for stalagmites, explorer Richard Winston was in for a big surprise Saturday as he entered a creature’s mouth thinking it was a big cave. “There sure is a warm, wet draft in this big cavern,” Winston said, struggling to keep his footing on the creature’s wiggling tongue and grasping for a handhold on the creature’s slippery cheeks. “I’ve been in lots of caves before, but this is definitely the softest and wettest. Normally, I like caves because they’re quiet and cool, but this one is really hot and there’s a loud rumbling that sounds exactly how my stomach sounds, but much louder and scarier.” At press time, Winston was shining his flashlight on the creature’s uvula in order to get a better look before silently muttering “oh no” to himself.

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