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According to sources, David Holloway, a freak of nature who certainly would’ve been driven to the hills in the dark ages, is now averaging a triple-double in his sixth NBA season.
“He’s an absolute goliath who no doubt would’ve been chased into the hinterlands with pitchforks and torches if this were the dark ages,” said Brian Winthrop, a local basketball fan. “But he’s putting up some crazy numbers this season. Can’t argue with that.”
“So what if back then he’d have been a beast whose birth was long prophesied to bring destruction upon the town?” added Winthrop. “Now he’s bringing destruction in the paint.”
“Personally, I’m glad I get to watch him dunk on people instead of having to chase him with a slingshot and bale rope,” said Winthrop, gesturing to the 7′4″ star athlete whose telescopic limbs would have portended the end times if he’d lived in a medieval village. “Basketball is awesome.”
At press time, a man who would have been a wise oracle atop a mountain in antiquity was arrested for public urination.
