Thursday, July 20, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Hey Professor, I Can’t Make It Today Because I’m Sick… Sick Of Your Bullshit!

Published Friday, April 21st, 2017

Hi Professor Richardson,

I just wanted to let you know that unfortunately I won’t be in class today because I’m sick… sick of your BULLSHIT.

I woke up feeling okay, but as the day went on and it got closer and closer to class time, I remembered that I would have to listen to you talk for fifty minutes, and illness overcame me. Once again, I’m so sorry about how last-minute this is, but maybe if you didn’t suck so much, I could’ve made it to class.

I know there was a BS assignment due today, so I can either e-mail that to you or hand it to you next class if you can wait a few extra days to not read it and then thoughtlessly give it a check plus.

I’m actually going to head to Health Services in a little bit, to see if they have any recommendations as to how I can begin to recover from having to spend so much time around you and having to listen to all the dumb shit you say every day.

I’ll be sure to get in touch with my classmates to see if you passed out any worthless handouts that are already posted on the Canvas page. I’ll also ask to see any notes they took during class, although I doubt any of them will take notes since you never say anything worth writing down.

I hope this absence doesn’t affect my grade in any way, though it seems like people miss your dumbass course all the time and face no consequences. It’s no surprise people didn’t take the half-assed attendance policy you outlined on the first day seriously. I guess it’s hard to get people to come to class when no one respects you.

Thanks in advance! Hope you had a good spring break! Knowing you, you spent the whole time doing something dumb like reading books about how to be a shitty teacher.

Best,
Dale Smith

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