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The Brown Noser

If You Rub The 8 Ball Thrice, We Will Emerge From The Walls And Challenge You To A Round Of Billiards by The Faunce Pool Boys

Published Friday, October 26th, 2018

Come closer, friend. Do you hear us? Good. Do you see us? No? Even better. We live in these walls, and we ask that you listen carefully to what we are about to say. It is this: If you rub the 8 ball thrice, we will emerge from the walls and challenge you to a round of billiards.

Yes, make yourself comfortable. Sit in the cozy red chairs. Kick your feet up. Stare into the 8 ball and envision your future. What does it look like? What are you doing? A lot to think about, yes. But there is nary a reason to worry! Rub the 8 ball thrice, and you can forget all of this. A single round of billiards can change everything.

Rub the 8 ball thrice, and out we come. We will tumble from these hallowed walls and stretch our limbs. We will arm ourselves with cues and challenge you to a battle of sport and wit. We might even offer a civil handshake; but not too friendly! Earning the trust of the Pool Boys is not easy. We do not coddle, we do not pander. But rub the 8 ball thrice and we just might give you a chance.

What say you, stranger? One does not visit the Pool Boys without motive. Are you looking for a grand revelation? A purpose in life? Perhaps you’re feeling down on your luck. We know. We see it in your eyes, twinkling at us through the walls like a freshly-polished billiard ball. Life is hard, but rubbing the 8 ball thrice is easy. Summon us if you dare! It’s your choice, stranger, but one must choose wisely. Good luck.

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