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A new report from the National League of Doctors has admitted that the circle thing on doctors’ heads is what gives them doctor powers. “After centuries of lying to patients, it’s time to come clean: we doctors are nothing without the big shiny circle,” reported lead spokesperson Dr. Boxin, affixing a circle thing to his head while revealing the truth behind modern medicine. “Years of schooling and clinical practice provide basically nothing for doctors compared to the awesome power of the circle thing. In fact, without the shiny circle, most doctors can’t name a single thing about the human body.” At press time, the nation’s lawyers revealed that briefcases are where they store all the laws.
