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The Brown Noser

One Guy In Frat Disrespectful To Women, Even By Frat’s Standards

Published Friday, March 17th, 2017

Explaining that his fellow fraternity brother really crossed the line by calling a girl a bitch to her face instead of behind her back, Kevin Helton confirmed that his Kappa Alpha brother William Staghouse is disrespectful to women, even by the fraternity’s low standards.

“When you first meet the Stag Man, you just think he’s the coolest guy,” said Helton, purposely turning on read receipts on his phone to play mind games with a girl he is hooking up with. “He loves hanging with the bros, and he’s always down to play poker and grab Chipotle. But the more you get to know him you start to realize there’s something off. He somehow has even less regard for women than all the other Kappa Alpha brothers.”

The brothers report that last weekend, at the fraternity’s annual “meat market,” all of the brothers were having a fun time picking out which vulnerable girl they wanted to take to formal, when Staghouse took it a step too far by grabbing a girl and grinding on her “as a joke.”

“These girls come to meat market to be ogled at and objectified, NOT touched,” Helton added. “At least not touched right away. That can only happen after you’ve tricked them into thinking you’re a nice guy.”

“The other night at the GCB, we were talking to these girls and they said they weren’t interested in us five times,” said Helton. “The Stagatron had the gall to go back and try a sixth time. Every Kappa Alpha knows that after five times, no means no and it’s time to move on.”

At press time, Staghouse was asking girls on Tinder if they were virgins as his fraternity brothers urged him to ease into the question with a transparent game of 20 questions first.

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