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The Brown Noser

“People Have No Respect for the Flag Anymore,” Says Man with the American Flag on His Shirt, Beer Koozie, and Underwear

Published Friday, April 20th, 2018

Sources report that area man Rodney Fields spent the entirety of his Fourth of July barbecue explaining how appalled he is at those who disrespect the flag, all while sporting his American flag shirt, beer koozie, and underwear.

“No one has any respect for the flag anymore,” said Fields, wiping some ketchup off of his red, white, and blue tank top. “Today, the most American day of the year, should be a reminder to everyone of how seriously we need to take our patriotism.”

“The stars and stripes should be protected and revered,” he continued, after taking his turn throwing an American flag themed bean bag in a game of cornhole. “Which is why it’s such a crime to see people talk badly about this nation or kneel during the national anthem. It’s disrespectful and, trust me, I know disrespect when I see it.”

“When you degrade the flag, you degrade the troops,” Fields reported, ignoring the fact that he was currently wearing an American flag patterned pair of underwear.

After the barbecue, Fields was seen mumbling to himself about the disrespectful youth while wiping up a dirty table with an American flag paper towel.

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