Partly Cloudy, 64°
Turning down the brightness on his phone and tilting the screen away from his circle of friends, sources at a small party on Governor St. report that Hayden Jackson ‘18 was hastily Googling “how to rip bong” before the vessel reached him. “Hey man, I can light it for you,” offered Jackson’s friend Greg Thompson ’18, as Jackson tapped from page to page in a frenzied attempt to determine which holes he should blow into and when he should cough satisfactorily. “Nope, okay. Yeah, you got it. Nope, you’re going to burn your thumb. Okay.” At press time, Jackson was nodding and saying he could “definitely feel it” after a clean exhale without a wisp of smoke.
