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The Brown Noser

Theater Choreographer Has Clearly Never Seen Real Fight

Published Friday, May 12th, 2023

It is becoming increasingly obvious to audiences that theater choreographer Grace Patton has never seen a real fight.

“At first I thought the dance-fighting was supposed to be symbolic,” explained audience member Harry Lin as the actors gestured painedly toward one another from a safe distance. “Then I realized that the choreographer just had no idea that when people fight, they make contact with one another.”

“This is just uncomfortable,” Lin said as a group of actors snapped their fingers angrily at a character writhing on the ground. “What am I watching?”

At press time, the performance’s lead actor had clearly never heard a Southern accent before.

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