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The Brown Noser

Third Grader's Lemonade Stand Hemorrhaging Money

Published Friday, March 17th, 2017

Giving patrons way too much change and drinking most of the lemonade himself, third grader Aiden Lassiter runs a lemonade stand that has been hemorrhaging money.

Despite his best efforts, Lassiter has failed to attract the necessary customers to turn a profit on the $5 his mom lent him to buy a box of Country Time Lemonade mix. Sources report that Lassiter has made numerous mistakes so far including spilling the entirety of the first batch on his kitchen floor. Sources added that his decision to set up his stand at the dead end of the cul-de-sac has not been good for business.

“The big problem is that he keeps forgetting to charge people” said Margaret Lassiter, Aiden’s mom, frowning as she watched Aiden pull a hair out of his pitcher of lemonade with his hand. “I also should not have listened when he told me he also wanted to sell snacks at the stand. I drove him to the store and spent $15 on cookies, and I’m sure I’ll never get a cent of that money back.”

Claiming it was “too hot out,” Lassiter also failed to capitalize on the lunchtime rush, opting to stay inside and play with his Bionicles, leaving his lemonade outside in the sun where it quickly became hot and had to be thrown in the garbage.

At press time, Lassiter told his mom he was done with the lemonade stand and left her to clean up the mess.

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