Friday, November 16, 2018
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The Brown Noser

Woman Applying Body Lotion Feels Like One Fancy Lady

Published Friday, October 26th, 2018

As she applied a generous pump of body lotion to her legs, area woman Megan Sullivan reported that she was feeling like one fancy lady.

“This is the definition of luxury,” commented Sullivan, reveling in the spa-like aroma and satiny finish of the moisturizer. “I feel like I should throw on a string of pearls and whip up some hors d’oeuvre. If I close my eyes, I’m not in my bathroom anymore—I’m in my private pool house in the Bahamas. It’s transformative!”

Succumbing to her imagination as the shea butter scent enveloped her, Sullivan described her newfound affluence.

“It’s like I wear a different pair of Louboutin heels every day," explained Sullivan. "I practically have a chauffeur. Diamonds! I wear diamonds to all of my various galas and charity events. My son has a nanny, and a private chef. This is the life.”

At press time, Sullivan decided to be extra fancy and light a scented candle.

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