It was just past midnight last Saturday when Emma Page '11 noticed something was deeply wrong with the birthday party she was hosting. "I felt that something was off," Page recalled, "but I couldn't quite put my finger on it."
A true tragedy of capitalistic excess is taking place on Brown's campus. While students wander to their classes unencumbered with worry, the story is quite a different one for Brown's library workers. Or, it's the same story. I'm not sure.
On December 2nd, an otherwise dull and ordinary day was brought to life by the introduction of deadly bacteria into a densely populated urban area, causing citywide panic, at least half a dozen deaths, and, according to the overwhelming consensus of students, faculty, and staff, "laughs a'plenty."
Following the success of such now-famous Facebook applications as FarmVille and FrontierVille, software developer Zynga has unveiled its latest effort to merge social networking and online gaming: Insurance Claims AdjusterVille. In exclusive sneak previews, Zynga has emphasized that Insurance Claims AdjusterVille is a "grittier, more challenging, but ultimately more rewarding" Facebook gaming experience.
Speaking from his office in MacMillan, Professor of Chemistry Damian S. Carlyle confirmed recent suspicions that he does in fact hate you.