While most of us have our noses to the grindstone during reading period, Matt Levy '10 will be asking, "Why so serious?" Levy is already planning to show up to his family's Hanukkah celebration dressed as Heath Ledger's Joker from summer blockbuster 'The Dark Knight.
In a resounding decision Friday night, friends of Eric Swain '11 repeatedly and unanimously expressed support of Swain's intention to 'chug.chug.Chug. Chug! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!' the remainder of his 12 fluid ounce can of Natural Light.
The method of consumption was first advocated
by Swain's roommate Tim Branch '11 as a quick solution for his sobriety.
After three long months without reading his mail, Marshall
Cohn '10 finally felt it was time to take the job seriously, with some fashion and wit on the side.
"It was far too complex to open on my own," said Cohn. "I tried a variety of demolition experts, safe-crackers, and con artists but eventually I realized only the greatest thieves in the world, ones who had proven their ability by robbing the world's biggest casinos, would be able to get me my mail.
Friends of Preston Anderson '12, who, by the way, just scored a 96 on his math midterm, have reported that the topic of test scores comes up unusually often in conversation with him. Anderson's friend Jared Blay '12, who, if Anderson remembers correctly, only got a 720 on the SAT math section compared to his 760, noticed the steady presence of midterm grades, marks on papers, and both SAT I and II scores in unrelated discussions.
The University of Pennsylvania will be relocated to Long Island in mid-2009, according to a press release issued by its President, Amy Gutmann. "Faced with large numbers of kvetching mothers of students from Long Island, I have decided to take the University of Pennsylvania out of Pennsylvania," said Gutmann.