Michael's articles
When Liam Edwards '13, a self-proclaimed "down-on-his-luck everyman," first saw Paige Prentice '12 riding her bicycle down Charlesfield Street, he knew instantly that she would be the girl to change his life.
As Jesse Parker '13 returned to his room with a female companion last Wednesday night, he never could have anticipated the reaction of his ne'er-do-well roommate, Trevor Harrison '13.
"So I was at FishCo, because it was a weeknight and, let's face it, I'm a football player," Parker explained.
Brown University seeks to accept students of all cultures, creeds, and backgrounds, from all corners of the Earth-and that includes racists.
"I mean, I think of myself as a pretty nice person, like Mr. Rogers or Hitler," began racist student Simon Bedford '13.
In a stunning move, an acquaintance of Kevin Garson '13 from orientation, Dina Russo '13, has ceased verbal contact with him. "I saw her on the line at the V-Dub and she nodded at me like I was nothing," Garson claimed in a tell-all interview last Thursday.
Sarah Higgins '09 never thought that concentrating in contemplative studies would get her anywhere. That all changed Tuesday morning when a particularly revelatory meditation session inspired her to no longer concentrate in the subject or on anything at all.
Dartmouth, the oft-forgotten member of the Ivy League tucked away deep in the woods of New Hampshire, has not existed for at least fifty years, according to explorers Rufus Edgemore and Stefan Burgundy. The discovery has left the Ivy League, now short one member, in shambles.
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