The nation's First Canine, Ms. Liberty Bell, recently invited the Brown Noser to her palatial estate on the White House front lawn for a special one-on-one interview. Unfortunately, before the interview had even begun, there was an incident involving the photographer becoming stuck in the doggy door.
In an overwhelming display of military force, Brazil deployed almost three cannons to North Africa early this morning, seizing the territory easily with losses of less than a single horse.
The two combatants previously reached a treaty that stated they would cease combat against each other for as long as it took to conquer Europe and North America.
Cornell students were disappointed this past Saturday when campus police broke up a party at the school's Delta Chi fraternity house, but not too disappointed. Many students have reported that the party was already dying down when law enforcement arrived, although not because it was getting late.
Having once again rid the world of terrorists, evildoers, and freedom-haters, George Bush has reportedly returned to his quarters at the Fortress of Solitude following the inauguration of Barack Obama. While many have clamored for four or even eight more years of a Bush presidency, Bush has graciously stepped down, choosing instead to honor the laws of the country he has saved time and time again.
Partly Cloudy, 64°
