Admitting his surprise that the expedition was spent successfully killing animals rather than just crouching in bushes, area father Greg Matchers came home on Tuesday deeply disturbed by his son’s natural hunting talent.
“I was hoping we’d get one deer on the last day, but that was a serious underestimation of Luke’s ability,” Matchers said in disbelief as he recounted how comfortable his son’s finger sat on the rifle trigger.
Calling their findings “bewildering,” a team of researchers from the Bureau of Labor Statistics released a report Monday finding that a mere 15.2 percent of college students who complete summer internships at the White House go on to become President of the United States at some future point.
Abbey DeMaggio was pleasantly surprised during a joy ride in her new convertible Saturday when she was blessed with a scenic view of her own hair.
“It was everywhere…in my mouth, in my nose, in my eyes," said DeMaggio as the wind was reported to have whipped around the windshield of the vehicle, blowing her long, blonde hair all over the place.
Currently sitting cross-legged outside the theater of Alexander Hamilton High School, theater kid Jeremy Clifford is never not singing in harmony to whatever noise is happening around him.
Sources report that, whether he’s surrounded by a group of friends singing the harmony to “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserables or sitting in an algebra test controlling his pitch to complement the quiet rustling of pencils on paper, Clifford exists in a constant state of singing a high-pitched tone that turns whatever sound is going on around him into a full major chord.
Area teen Gracie Werthers revealed she is having a lot trouble reading the love letter written to her by her longterm boyfriend Nathan Stitson because it is covered in tear stains.
“It is totally gross. The paper is all wrinkly and I can barely read it from his crying all over it.
Partly Cloudy, 64°
