Local seven-year old Billy McFadden took his parents by surprise this week when he reportedly showed them a Christmas wish list that was oddly introspective.
“Last year, he wanted a mini trampoline,” said his father Calvin. “This year, the first thing on his list was ‘patience.’ I usually spend hours shopping for exactly the right gift, but I have to say, I don’t even know where to start with this one.”
“Usually we do a good job making the kids happy if their wishes aren’t the easiest," added his mother Pauline.
An area man has decided that he’s going to go for one more roll on those jeans, sources report. “I just couldn’t decide if I should stick with the conservative double roll, or really go crazy and try for a third roll,” said junior Mark Davis.
While dining at the Flatbread Company, restaurant goer Jeremy Rosenstein momentarily considered joining a happy birthday chorus at a nearby table.
“This big procession of waiters approached the table next to mine with a candle and they all started gleefully singing Happy Birthday,” recounted Rosenstein.
According to multiple sources at the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra, the first chair flautist was just whistling.
“His lips never touched the flute,” said audience member Keisuke Honda. “I was sitting close to the stage, and it sounded like the performer was whistling, and not playing his instrument.
According to witnesses on the playground of Woonsocket Elementary, weird little kid Sean Wilbert reported that every cloud looked like Stalin.
“The kids love to lie down on the grass and try to see shapes in the clouds,” said Sean’s third-grade teacher, Mrs.
Partly Cloudy, 64°
