Oh dear God, according to multiple reports received about two minutes ago on highway I-95, area mother Karen Quinn will pull this goddamn minivan over immediately, just “effing” watch her. Witnesses silently confirmed that Quinn, the owner of the vehicle and passengers in question, refuses to take any more bull from the car seat area, and will do whatever the hell it takes to make herself perfectly clear.
The recommendation system for popular movie-streaming website Netflix completely understands Gregory Spiegel ’13. From last summer’s sleeper hits to droll BBC programming, every single suggestion the site has made for him over the past four months has felt handpicked for Spiegel himself.
Ben Larrick ’13 entered his summer internship at the Better World Foundation with aspirations of gaining practical, real-world experience in the field of coffee brewing.
As the internship comes to a close and his final fall semester begins, Larrick feels his time may have been wasted.
Though you do not know the appearance of Alice Harper ’13, she promises that you will identify her easily when you arrive at the Cable Car Cinema and Cafe for your date tomorrow night, from the large quantities of animal blood that will be splattered across her blouse.
The latest addition to Brown’s recreational facilities is by far its most luxurious yet, as indicated by the Nelson Fitness Center’s requirement to present a valid student ID and valid full tuxedo to an attendant upon entrance.
“It’s great we require both photo IDs and tuxedos in here, since I wouldn’t want just anyone to be able to sneak in,” said Jackie Henderson ’13, running on the elliptical while two butlers calmly held the train of her silk ball gown.