Providence-area sales representative and father of three Jim Torrington needs to know which of his sons did that horrible thing or else Christmas will not be held this year. Torrington maintains that Santa Claus is listed on his Blackberry’s speed dial, which might be a bluff but probably is not.
The angry driver currently rolling down his driver’s seat window to slowly amplify his yelling will get out of his 1997 Toyota Camry and come over there, don’t think he won’t. The middle-aged man in question reportedly has a beef to pick with the way you drive, because if people like you are going to have to share the road, they better damn well learn to use their blinker.
At the Rhode Island Harvest Festival last month, Pawtucket farmer Steve Killansky won an unprecedented streak of blue ribbons for Biggest Pumpkin, Orangest Pumpkin, Roundest Pumpkin, Most Time Spent Harassing The Ribbon Committee and Go Home Steve.
Providence resident and mother of two Linda Manning defied a parenting norm yesterday morning when she was simultaneously mad at and disappointed by her son, James, 7. While parents have historically been disappointed in their children without feeling anger, James’s rule-breaking inspired a never-before-seen cocktail of both emotions in his mother.
The photographic memory of Pleasant View Elementary School student Johnny Garfield, an accidental witness to three grisly area murders, has been little-to-no help at identifying the lone suspect. Providence Police attribute his lack of helpful information to Garfield not having his eyes open during any of the good murders.
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