A recent discovery by a Brown professor has revealed one of the Rhode Island School of Design’s best-kept secrets: Every student at RISD is actually the same person.
Professor of American Studies Kurt Blannerman was doing research on the history of arts education in America when he stumbled upon a peculiar document in the RISD archives.
During a police raid of Occupy Oakland last week, an Oakland police officer shot a four-year-old girl directly in the face while she was fast asleep in her mother’s arms.
Providence resident James Easton was momentarily moved this week when he mistook a bad case of indigestion for fatherly pride. The confusing incident took place shortly after Easton returned from a dinner celebrating his son’s recent graduation from medical school.
In a moment that forever changed the trajectory of human civilization, the Sun opened His all-seeing eye and spoke telepathically to all people simultaneously.
“I have awakened from 10,000 years of slumber,” the Sun announced yesterday at 3:55 p.m.
It was confirmed yesterday that the little people labor camp run by an obese reindeer breeder at the North Pole is real and not a farfetched story your mother used to tell you when you were a child.
“I knew it, I knew he was real,” smiled Little Timmy, revealing two missing front teeth.
In an unexpected and highly confusing coup, heavily-armed Methodists descended on every steel mill in the United States yesterday.
“Ha ha!” said Methodist Church High President Jacques LeFarge as he stood triumphantly outside the Detroit American Steel plant, flanked by Janet Smith, Methodist Vice President in Charge of Metals.
If you’re a cop, you have to tell me. This isn’t—you aren’t are you? Because you sort of have this cop way of standing. You sort of have this cop posture. And that is definitely a cop haircut. The uniform and badge are throwing me a little as well.
I’ve gotta say, there’s one thing that I’ve been really looking forward to about Brown. It’s not the chance to broaden my knowledge through the Open Curriculum. It’s not the idea of eating sandwiches at an Ivy League university. It’s the opportunity to feel self-important when I see my peers from more temperate climes experience their first winter.