A recent poll of the toy chest found that nearly three quarters of the residents of TrainTown are unhappy with their pre-adolescent God-King Billy, who has drawn fire for his capricious and often brutal leadership style.
Billy’s administration has been wracked with scandal, from January’s Pokemongate to last month’s mass beheadings and subsequent mixed-up reheadings.
Staring in frustration at the Chase.com login page, area man Ben Higgins remarked that he really regrets making his bank security question “What is your password?”
“Why would I think this was a good idea?” said Higgins, who now just feels like a big idiot.
62-year-old Chad Barnes, local resident of Scranton, Pa. is beginning to think of the town’s Waffle House as his own waffle home. Sources say the man began to show up frequently at Waffle House which soon turned into a three-meals-a-day routine.
Barnes expressed that the Waffle House took some getting used to at first.
Before placing an order for Diet Coke and the spinach dip appetizer last Tuesday night, sources confirm, clever man Gavin Slone convinced the waitress at a local restaurant that it was his birthday when, in fact, his birthday was last April.
“Yeah, it’s actually my birthday today,” Slone informed the waitress immediately after she introduced herself to the table, his mastery in the art of deception on display.
Noting that he leaned too far forward at the table, sources have confirmed that dad Jeffrey Washburn loudly enumerated all of his favorite bass players at dinner tonight. “John Paul Jones second. Paul McCartney third. Jack Bruce fourth,” Washburn said, adding that he’d probably throw Noel Redding and Billy Cox in there for good measure.
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