Saturday, February 22, 2020
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The Brown Noser

Luci Jones

Writer

Luci's articles

Area Man Definitely Underestimating How Big Of A Bowl He Needs To Make That Salad | Dec 06 2019

According to various sources, area man Ted Miller is definitely underestimating how big of a bowl he needs to make that salad. “Well, this seems like a good size,” said Miller, grossly underestimating the amount of space his romaine salad would occupy.

Mom Pretty Sure She Knows That Actor From Something | Oct 25 2019

On the car ride home from the movies with her family, local mom Sharon Johnson muttered under her breath that she was “pretty sure she knew that actor from something.” “C’mon you guys,” Johnson said, rapidly typing things into Google with one finger.

Potted Plant In Dorm Wishes It Didn't Need So Much Fucking Sunlight Either | Oct 25 2019

Sources confirmed yesterday that the potted plant in Archibald 432 wishes it didn’t need so much fucking sunlight either. “I don’t know why I’m like this,” the plant complained. “If I don’t get enough sunlight, I wilt. That’s just how it is.