Wednesday, September 23, 2020
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The Brown Noser

Luci Jones

Writer

Luci's articles

Area Man Explains To Girlfriend That Frisbee Is All In The Wrist | Apr 24 2020

Slowly repeating his motions to demonstrate proper form, area man Chris Horton explained to his girlfriend that frisbee is all in the wrist. “All it takes is a little flick of the wrist,” Horton explained, effortlessly tossing the frisbee to his girlfriend.

"Don’t Worry, It’s The Brown Noser," Student Handing Out Newspaper Clarifies To Frightened Passerby | Mar 06 2020

Sources report that a student handing out newspapers clarifiedm “Don’t worry, it’s the Brown Noser,” to a frightened passerby. “I could see the fear in that guy’s eyes,” explained Noser Staff Writer Sarah Hart, recalling the momentary panic she caused by offering him a copy of the new Noser issue.

BPR Party Playlist Just Latest Episode Of The Daily On Repeat | Mar 06 2020

Sources report that the playlist for a Brown Political Review party last night was just the lastest episode of The Daily on repeat. “I went in expecting there to be some kind of music,” explained Macy Rockwell, who attended the party as a guest.

Area Man Definitely Underestimating How Big Of A Bowl He Needs To Make That Salad | Dec 06 2019

According to various sources, area man Ted Miller is definitely underestimating how big of a bowl he needs to make that salad. “Well, this seems like a good size,” said Miller, grossly underestimating the amount of space his romaine salad would occupy.

Mom Pretty Sure She Knows That Actor From Something | Oct 25 2019

On the car ride home from the movies with her family, local mom Sharon Johnson muttered under her breath that she was “pretty sure she knew that actor from something.” “C’mon you guys,” Johnson said, rapidly typing things into Google with one finger.

Potted Plant In Dorm Wishes It Didn't Need So Much Fucking Sunlight Either | Oct 25 2019

Sources confirmed yesterday that the potted plant in Archibald 432 wishes it didn’t need so much fucking sunlight either. “I don’t know why I’m like this,” the plant complained. “If I don’t get enough sunlight, I wilt. That’s just how it is.