Sources report that just before the class of ’21.5 slips away into the night, they’re giving us a little kiss on the forehead.
“I had finished packing up my room, but then I realized I’d forgotten something very, very important,” stated .5er Maurice Randall as he swung a dark, hooded cloak over his shoulders and ever so quietly shut the door behind him.
Briefly prefacing their performance at Wayland Arch this past Wednesday, a cappella group The PemBlokes announced that this next song has a little twist. “Alright everyone, for our next song we’re doing something… a little different,” said The PemBlokes’ musical director Carter McNabers ’23 with a wry grin, knowing that the audience was in no way prepared for the upcoming Taylor Swift/Kanye mash-up the group had up its sleeve.
After a classmate in a senior-level seminar mentioned their living situation, sources report that, oh, that grad student has a wife.
“He’s always looked a little older than the rest of us in class, but whoa,” sources reported, floored to learn that the 26-year-old they interact with in section every week has been married for a year and a half.
In a campus-wide statement issued last week, University administrators announced their plan to end legacy admissions right after all their kids get accepted to Brown.
“Brown is committed to leveling the playing field in its admissions process,” said Dean of Admissions Logan Powell, balancing student calls to end legacy admissions with the reality that lots of administrators have children.
In a recent exposé, the Brown Daily Herald shed light on how many days are left until Christmas.
“I’m impressed by the Herald’s commitment to asking hard questions, like how many days are there before I get to open presents?” said BDH reader Jeffrey Matthews ’22, flipping his newspaper open to a helpful calendar with a bold red circle around December 25th.