According to sources, the Gay Straight Alliance club seems like it’s mostly gay.
“I totally get how gayness is involved with the club,” said sophomore Alex Danov, a prospective GSA member, who after the club day presentation was unsure on how they incorporated straight people into the organization.
According to reports from a Little Birdie in my flock, it seems you’ve been really rude to my birds.
“It doesn’t matter which one told me, it matters that you’re doing it,” said bird owner Trent Smirk, conveniently relying on an idiom that also perfectly describes his situation.
In an adorable showing this past week, Felix Vandergreed, an utterly impish little man, did incredible numbers among whimsical women.
“Felix has something really special,” local whimsical woman Lacy O’Malley told reporters as Vandergreed pranced through a field of daisies, whooping and hollering the whole way.
Recent archaeological excavations at an ancient cave have uncovered brilliant prehistoric cave art which is really just the shittiest representation of a deer ever.
“Here, we can see the astonishing depiction of a now-extinct prehistoric deer, etched with a bone blade and tinted with red ochre,” announced archaeologist Monica Anders, gesturing towards a painting of three ugly lines that looked absolutely nothing like a deer.
According to reports from the local wilderness, a fuzzy little bat would be so sweet if only it wasn’t flying around on vile skin wings.
“A fluffy little body, big ears, and a cute snout? Come on! This bat could’ve been the perfect creature,” said local hiker Lucas Thompson, watching in terror as the bat flapped around on its horrifying skin wings of death.