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Thursday, July 27, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Snoop Dogg Headlines Janus Forum Debate on Education

The first event in the Janus Forum's much anticipated debate series on education took place in Salomon 101 yesterday, and featured conservative political commentator Edward Morton matching wits with smooth-spitting hip hop artist Snoop 'Doggy' Dogg. Mr. Morton said he was excited to discuss such an important issue with an educational theorist as eminent as Mr.

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Objects and Other Objects

Coal to our nation's unflagging locomotive conductors. Keep on chuggin'! An origami dove to the coxswain of the rowing team. May you continue to find beauty in everything. Cheese and coconuts to the Neuroscience Department. We are very sorry for your loss.

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Cabo/Kabul Airport Mix-Up Leads to Sub-Par Spring Break

Spring breakers Emily Rothstein '12 and Jenna Harris '12 admitted to feeling "a little disappointed" when their ostensibly Mexico-bound airliner touched down in Afghanistan late last Saturday. The navigational misstep allegedly began when an employee at Logan Airport in Boston mistakenly spelled Kabul with a C on the departures board.

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One, Two, Three, Four, Congress Declares Thumb War

During a special session last week, Congress voted unanimously to declare a thumb war against Liechtenstein. Afterward, Barack Obama held a press conference, the solemn words of which, pundits are saying, will "ring in the halls of history for centuries to come and ever and ever, like, seriously.

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Snapple Facts Increasingly Belligerent Towards Nantucket Nectars

The best stuff on earth may have just turned bitter. Snapple, the worlds leading distributor of useless knowledge, and occasional distributor of colored sugar water, has managed to ensnare itself in a heated brawl with Nantucket Nectars. Snapple CEO Rafael Rodriguez allegedly became enraged when he discovered that Nantucket Nectars began printing facts about their quaint, 47.

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