Expressing excitement over Brown’s latest campus safety measure, President Christina Paxson recently announced that, as of next week, the entire campus will be covered with one gigantic tent.
“Science tells us that the likelihood of COVID spread is greatly decreased when outdoors," stated Paxson in a 2,000-word email sent to the Brown community.
According to church sources, the beautiful 16th-century fresco painted on the walls of St. Anthony’s Basilica in Vicenza is never not undergoing restoration.
“We’re proud to draw tourists and art enthusiasts from all over the world to witness Albertuccio’s renaissance masterpiece, or what you can see of it through the scaffolding,” explained Basilica tour guide Giulia Ruscetti.
Reports from the town of Knollhampton indicate that the Reverend is here. “Gather yourselves, neighbors, the good Reverend John from Bramford is here!” cried townswoman Lavinia Rushworth, gathering up her skirt as she bustled through Knollhampton’s central road to inform all she could that the fair and honest Reverend had just arrived at the town chapel.
Wincing and groaning all the way from the fridge to the couch, area dad Bill Henderson reported that his knees are acting up again. “Ah, gosh, jeez, my knees sure are acting up again,” said Henderson, clutching his knees while exhaling mightily.
Area woman Emma Waters recently announced that she listened to a podcast about that once. “Yeah, I totally listened to a podcast about that once,” shared Waters during a casual conversation among friends when the subject of whales came up, adding that the podcast definitely had something to do with water animals and the hosts really knew what they were doing.
Desperately sweeping an endless pile of seeds off his sheets, area man Josh Grapeman reported that his bed would likely never recover from its encounter with a sesame seed bagel. “This is just a disaster,” said Grapeman, increasingly aware that he had just been destined to a life of sleeping in a sesame seed-infested bed.
Folks we’re gonna get this here auction underway. We have trinkets, doo-dads, and other assorted goodies.
All righty now this bronze letter opener is one of a kind folks so let me open the bidding at a cool two hundred and twenty US dollars. Do I see two-twenty? Two-twenty anyone? Two-twenty, thank you sir! Do I see two-fifty? Going once.
There’s no one right way to do a marriage. Society may tell us that monogamy is the only option, but it’s important for partners to be honest with themselves and explore all options. I know that my marriage would have fallen apart if my husband and I hadn’t decided to redefine the boundaries of our relationship.