Excitedly explaining how much she’s looking forward to the end of finals period, junior Tina Shook, who took every opportunity over the past five months to insult her hometown, reported that she can’t wait to go home for break.
“It’s going to be so nice to finally be home and allow myself to just relax,” reported Shook, even though she’s complained to her college friends on multiple occasions about how there’s never anything to do in her hometown.
You’re going to be invited to a lot of holiday parties. Never go over someone’s house empty handed. And never leave empty handed, either. Scan the house, identify what you think they wouldn’t notice is missing, and then take your pick!
Try not to do your shopping too last minute.
Sources report that after a lively and spirited discussion of the week’s readings for “Bolivia: 1945-1970”, the seminar settled in for two hours of complete silence. While the seminar began as a fruitful exchange of ideas, all desire to speak or engage with classmates dried up after about a half an hour.
Upon receiving the latest issue of the Brown Noser, student Cassidy Martinez shocked everyone nearby by actually proceeding to read one of the articles in its entirety.
“We all took one to be polite and laughed at a few headlines," said Martinez’s friend, Jackie Walter, "No one has the time to give it much more attention than that.
After hearing the obvious sound of chords being strummed, students listening to a cappella group the Varsity Arrangements reported that someone in the group had to be playing the ukulele the whole time.
“You couldn’t really see for sure because they were all crowded together the way they do,” said Cindy Nguyen, noting that she never actually managed to catch a glimpse of the ukulele.