New research suggests that local farmer, Pat Gershon, still isn’t really sure how big an acre is.
“My family’s been farming on this Rhode Island land for five generations, and we still use the same measurements,” Gershon said, surveying his fields without any real comprehension of the units of distance which comprise them.
Reports have indicated that Greg’s intervention really got undercut by whoever gave it a princess theme.
“We all came ready to like…cry,” said Greg’s friend Dave, referring to what was supposed to be a heartfelt conversation about Greg’s addiction.
According to area curator Sloane Pendergrath, museums are still under the impression that standing for a long time is fun.
“When I design an exhibit, I know visitors prefer to bask in the beauty of the art while their knees lock and the soles of their feet cry out in pain,” noted Pendergrath, meandering through a vast gallery with a single folding chair as the only source of seating.
Addressing the nation from a televised broadcast, the CDC advised to stay away from Grandpa when he’s coughing like that. “We are working hard to identify his illness, but he’s kinda at that age where it could be anything,” said a CDC spokesperson, noting that Grandpa’s smoker lungs make just about anything sound like a death rattle.
On Saturday evening in Boston Logan Airport, area dad Jim Ferguson reported that he was just gonna watch the suitcases while everyone grabs food.
“Go on ahead you guys. I’ll stay here with the bags,” said Ferguson, distributing backpacks and jackets to claim all the chairs around him.