As Dev Kapoor’s spontaneous sneezing fit dragged on with no end in sight, irritated classmates reported that they felt he deserved far less sympathy with each passing sneeze. Other students in the same lecture hall as Kapoor concluded that, after two sneezes, he was not going to get another “Bless You.”
“A couple people said ‘bless you’ the first time," said classmate Aisha Dupont, doing her best to mask the disdain she increasingly felt toward Kapoor.
Proudly venting about how many appointments she has on her Google Calendar this week, Haley Zielinski seemed to be drawing some kind of sick satisfaction from her packed schedule, sources said.
“Ugh!” Zielinski exclaimed audibly, cracking a satisfied grin while complaining to a friend.
Sitting down for a quick afternoon snack, sources report that area woman Katie McCook carefully combed through her bag of trail mix in search of the good stuff.
“I’ll get to the nuts and seeds later but now I just want the candy,” reported McCook, delicately picking through the bag of trail mix in search of the chocolate pieces.
Local mother Tamara Lewis has been seen applying sunscreen to complete strangers as she copes with her recent empty nester status, sources report.
“I used to make sure my Jimmy blocked up every inch of skin exposed to the sun,” Mrs. Lewis explained while carefully scanning the crowd for strangers susceptible to sunburn.
Citing a desire to “get away from it all for a while,” the Dalai Lama told sources close to him that he has begun thinking seriously about going abroad for his next life.
“I’m really happy to be where I am with such a supportive network of monks,” said Tenzin Gyatso, the fourteenth Dalai Lama, “But I’m starting to grow a little bored with my surroundings in this life.
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